Ghosting – For Self Preservation
At times, I think I am the worst friend in the world. Not because I treat my friends bad or mean, but because when I get overwhelmed with life I ghost them. I ignore phone calls, text messages and social media posts; basically, any form of communication. I ghost people because that is my coping mechanism. I hide because when life gets crazy, I need a place where I can lay out all my “stuff” out in private.
Attention is said to be the currency of relationships. Which is true given the fact that I cause rifts in my friendships by ghosting people. When I’m in hiding and people reach out to me, I ignore them…… For weeks at a time. This leads people to believe that I am ignoring them, and they have not done anything to me. But in reality, I am in my quiet place in hopes to self-preserve. While I reflected today, I wanted to share a couple reasons to not give up on “me” if you are the friend on the other end:
Try To Understand
We all have different coping mechanisms when life gets under our skin. Some of my friends go on shopping sprees, some binge watch tv shows and then others call any and everyone to talk about their problems. Point being, we all handle things differently. One coping method is no better or worse than the next. Therefore, we should understand our friends needs for personal space. This personal time does not stop the friendship; simply, it puts it on pause until that person is ready to press go again.
Don’t Take It Personal
If your friend ghost you, don’t think it’s because they no longer want to be your friend. Your friend still needs you but in this current season, they need to self-preserve. No one talks to their friends about EVERYTHING. Maybe they are battling family problems or experiencing a transitional period in their life. In a time where mental health awareness is a priority, take this as a sign to support them. You never know what people are struggling with behind closed doors. Anxiety and depression are real, and if your friend is struggling, they will need to devote their energy into finding their way again.
Be A Real Friend
Real friends stand by each other regardless of the amount of time they give to one another.
Proverbs 18:24 reads:
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
Be this type of friend! Its not you, its them. Support them in their time of need, you never know how much simply checking in will mean to a person that pulls away when life gets difficult.